Previously on Rebelde Way: Manuel comes to Elite Way, sees Mia, and falls in love though he knows not who she is. So we’re basically right where we started at the very beginning of this show, sans Manuel’s intent to murder Mia’s father.
We pick up where we left off: Manuel finds Mia crying in a stairwell and immediately makes it about his dick. He tells her that he thinks she’s super pretty and he doesn’t want to go back to Mexico never having made out with her. He kisses her and Mia gets all twitterpated that he remembers their romantic (read: depressing) love affair. Manuel says that he doesn’t — and yet, he feels like he knew her in a past life! He sees her face when he makes out with other girls! Maybe they’re soulmates! Mia snipes that she doesn’t believe in such childish things anymore. Love isn’t real! Not between romantic partners, and not between a mother and a daughter! Way to be subtle about your issues, Mia. Anyway, she flounces off.
Francisco comes back and asks Manuel who he’s got a crush on, but Manuel emos that it doesn’t matter anymore.
Over in the front office, Papa B evilly cackles that they’ve gotten Javier out of the way — now onto getting rid of Dunoff! He tells Pablo that, since Dunoff has refused to be bribed out of school, they’re gonna need to come up with a good reason to get him fired. For some reason, Dunoff’s dignity is the line Pablo won’t cross, and he tells Papa B not to drag him into this. Then he storms out. I mean…I’m glad he’s not going along with his evil father, but really, Pablo? DUNOFF is the hill you’re gonna die on?
Over in some parking lot, Mauro yells at Lujan for not choosing to stay with Foster Mom. He’s like, “How could you do this to her?!” Uh…I’m starting to wonder if this show ever actually knew the difference between adoption and fostering. Fostering is meant to be temporary! Foster Mom is probably thrilled that Lujan is leaving to live permanently in a stable home with her wealthy best friend! Anyway, Mauro is pissed that Lujan is choosing her bougie boarding school world over him, and he stomps off. There are a lot of dramatic exits in these first three scenes.
Pablo whines to Miranda that he can’t help him fight Papa B — and yet, he can’t help Papa B fire Dunoff, either! Miranda’s like, “Wow, you are really late to this party.” He points out that Mama Feli has filed a complaint against him and Dunoff re: Feli’s pregnancy, so now Papa B has his reason to fire Dunoff. He asks if Pablo’s chosen a side, and Pablo says that he’s on Miranda’s side, but he’s still too scared to actually do anything. (Cutely, he refers to Miranda in “tu” form and panics; and Miranda says that he can tutear him.) Miranda tells him that there comes a time in every teenager’s life when they have to make their own decisions, and Pablo’s time is now. Pablo’s like, “Really? It can’t wait until I’m old enough to vote or something?”
Mia comes home to find Papa C, Sonia, Marizza, and Lujan celebrating Lujan’s addition to the family. It is pretty funny that, when considering whether or not to adopt Lujan, nobody considered that this makes Mia and Lujan sisters, too. I don’t think that the two of them have ever had a single one-on-one conversation in this entire series. Anyway, Mia is polite about it, but is too emo over Manuel and Mama C to muster up much enthusiasm. She wanders off and Marizza ditches Lujan’s party to comfort her. Way to make the orphan girl feel welcome, guys.
Mia tells Marizza that Mama C has run off again. Marizza says that Mia should confront Mama C and get her to explain, to her face, what the fuck is wrong with her. She calls Mama C on Mia’s behalf and presumably sets up a meeting.
Feli frets to Michi that, if her mother successfully gets Miranda fired, there will be no one standing between Feli and explusion. I — what? How can Feli think that the only way she’s leaving Elite Way is if she’s expelled? Why isn’t she more worried that her parents are just going to pull her out of school? Whatever. Feli cries about her family some more and Michi seems kind of annoyed that Feli is still emotionally attached to the people who raised her for 15 years. Then Feli tells her that she knows that “family” isn’t always your blood family — your family is the people who love you, like Michi. They hug. I feel like Feli’s already learned this lesson at some point but fuck if I remember when.
Mama C comes by to pick Mia up, and they go back to the restaurant where Mama C ditched her last time. Mama C blusters that Mia’s question took her by surprise, and that’s why she ran. Mia’s like, “Well, okay, now that you’ve had some time to think about it, can I come live with you?” Mama C’s like, “Ah fuck, can I pretend I’m surprised and run away again?” She tells Mia no, and when Mia pushes, admits that she doesn’t want Mia to live with her. She’s like, “It’s not you, it’s me!” Mia snaps at Mama C for not caring about her and storms out.
Back at Casa Colucci, Marizza encourages Lujan to FINALLY open the letter from Blas. I actually didn’t realize until this moment that Lujan hadn’t opened it in the last episode. Anyway, Lujan whines some more about how she wants to get closure but she doesn’t want to actually do anything that might help her get there. Thankfully, Marizza tells her to just woman up and read the letter so we can put this whole tedious drama to rest.
The letter is like, “Dear Lujan, I know I verbally and physically abused you, but I was actually only doing it because I cared about you all along. Hope we’re cool now. Peace, Blas. P.S. I’m not sorry for preying on all your underage female classmates though.” Lujan cries and I guess we’re supposed to think Blas was a good guy after all now. I hate everything about this.
The next day, Manuel tells Pablo that he kissed Mia, but she rejected him. “It’s because you cheated on her and then treated her like shit because she had the self-respect to dump you, and then you also physically attacked her,” Pablo doesn’t say. Instead he’s like, “Omg, I can’t believe she didn’t fall all over the chance to get with you again, what a mystery.” For the millionth time, Mia needs better friends. Still, he at least tells Manuel that he’s going back to Mexico anyway, so there’s no point dwelling on why Mia won’t mack it with him. Manuel’s like, “Sorry, at least 80% of my brainspace is used up thinking about my dick and I do not know how to reallocate.”
At breakfast, Sonia’s producer Sammy calls, and Papa C gets all salty that she’s still a working woman. I can’t believe we’re still bringing this up. Sonia blows him off and goes to get ready for work. Hilda shakes her head: “Franco, Franco, Franco. Marizza was right.” Oh, of course this is about how Marizza’s going to fix a grown-ass adult’s life. Apparently, Marizza said that Papa C makes the same mistakes over and over again: he’s not letting Sonia make her own decisions, just like he did with Mia. He can’t keep the people he loves close by forcing them into a cage, he has to let them fly free, and then they’ll return to him. Or something. Hilda definitely uses the flight metaphor but I kind of tuned out halfway through the rest of it. Anyway, she has a point but it’s super weird that this life lesson apparently came from Marizza, because she is the master of not letting people make decisions that she doesn’t approve of.
Mia’s revenge on Sol comes to fruition: her photo has been used in a magazine article about teens who abuse alcohol and drugs and have premarital sex. So…Sol is one of the kids from Skins? She’s predictably furious and all the kids laugh at her. You know, Sol’s gotten cartoonishly evil enough that I haven’t really felt bad for her in a while, but I might have to break out the “justice for sol” tag again here. Like, attaching her face to an article about drugs and sex in a widely-read magazine might actually have repercussions that follow her for a while. (Sure, Sol ratting Feli out also has repercussions — but like, they were repercussions that were going to happen ANYWAY, you know?) Anyway, Sol snaps that at least she’s never going to see these idiots again after her father enrolls her in another school.
Mama C comes by to talk to Papa C and they finally hash out their problems. He confronts her about her drug addiction and apparently she’s been using drugs since before Mia was born? So she’s been an addict for at least 15 years? That’s pretty wild, although I guess not impossible. Anyway, they do a lot of angsting and not much explaining about anything, then Mama C goes to talk to Mia.
Michi tells the class that Javier is no longer enrolled and won’t be coming to class anymore. I don’t know why she’s announcing this. At every school I’ve ever gone to, if a kid moved away, they just disappeared from class and you were left to wonder what happened until someone who had the gossip told you. (And if you didn’t know any of their friends, then you just never found out.) (I still want to know whether my old classmate Courtney was genuinely kicked out for trying to poison someone or if her parents just moved to Petaluma.) All the kids congratulate Guido on making Javier’s homophobic father think that he’s gay so that he would be taken away. They’re like, “Homophobic abuse is good if it’s happening to someone you don’t like!”
Jesus, I can’t believe we’ve finally gotten rid of Javier and I can’t even be happy about it because they did it in the most hypocritical way possible.
Then Rocco bursts in and tells them that there’s some shit going down in the main office, so all the kids scramble down there. Etchamendi and Papa B come out of Dunoff’s office, and they announce that Dunoff and Miranda have both been fired. All the kids are confused because incompetence has never gotten anyone else at this school fired before. Lalo muses aloud whether or not they know about Feli, and Lujan has a flash of insight and says that they must have used her pregnancy as an excuse to fire Dunoff and Miranda. It’s so nice when these kids have brain flashes, mostly because it happens so rarely.
Pilar and Tomas come in and say that they found out — somehow — that there’s not much for Dunoff and Miranda to do, except lawyer up and hope they can fight this out in court. Marizza’s like, “Ugh, but that could take time and patience, and we only have two episodes left of this show!” Pablo agrees that all they can do is wait and see what happens, and Marizza accuses him of being Papa B’s stool pigeon. Manuel sides with Pablo because bros before hoes, amirite? Marizza fumes like she’s forgotten that Manuel has always been like this. He’s being a sexist dick! Nature is healing!
We cut back to Mia and Mama C. Mama C gives Mia a tearful speech about how she got into drugs: she started with marijuana (it’s a gateway drug!) and Mia’s like, “But some people smoke weed and they say it’s not addictive.” I’m mostly just shocked that Mia knows what weed is. Who are these people talking about drugs around her? (The second I thought about it, I realized it’s totally Rocco and Vico. They have such stoner couple energy.)
Anyway, Mama C tells Mia that she got clean while she was pregnant, but got hooked on opiods or whatever because Mia’s birth was difficult. She goes on about how drugs are bad and she can’t have any fulfilling relationships and her life is a lie, etc etc etc. I mean, I get that many people are functional addicts, but it is SO hilariously on-brand of this show to be like, “Drugs ruined my life, but I’m still physically fit and attractive and I don’t have any outwards signs of addiction that would traumatize my daughter.” Whatever. Anyway, don’t do drugs, kids. Especially not weed. Mama C says that Mia is her reason for trying to get better and promises to get clean for real. She says that when she’s better, she’ll come find Mia again. Then they cry and hug it out.
(Wait, so…she works in the music industry, is a messy drug addict, got clean when she had a baby, but started using again afterward? Oh my God, Mama C is Courtney Love.)
Back at school, Pablo tells Tomás and Manuel that he refused to help Papa B fire Dunoff. Tomás is like, “Does Marizza know that?” Pablo sighs that there’s no point telling Marizza, because if he did, she might forgive him and then they couldn’t stretch this plot out until the last minute.
Manuel’s second doctor — the dude who gave him a cognitive test by asking him to do one (1) high-five — comes by to see him. This time, he does some more tests, like playing catch with Manuel and having him do some writing and sorting colors. Manuel does everything perfectly well, but the doctor’s like, “Golly, I just don’t know if you’re healed yet.” Manuel presses him for a better answer and the doctor hedges that he thinks Manuel is improving. I mean, you were convinced he’d never be able to hold a pen again and here he is writing his name, so I feel like you could be a little more confident about this, my dude.
Marizza realizes that this whole Guido/Laura thing is super tedious and dumb and decides to speedrun it for us. Thank you, Marizza. She tells Guido that Laura liiiikes him, then she goes back to Laura and tells her that Guido was just talking about how he’s totally willing to change for Laura and stop being a fuckboy. Guido and Laura both fall for this. They meet up in the hallway, confess their feelings, then make out. You know what? Sure. Whatever. Let’s roll with this so we don’t have to focus on it any longer.
All the kids go to class with Carmen, who is now their lone teacher. Theory: Rebelde Way was a horror story all along, about a group of high school teachers who are slowly picked off until only one of them is left. Anyway, Carmen tells them not to bother her with their feelings about Miranda’s firing, and all the kids yell unintelligibly, as they’re wont to do in group scenes. Then Papa B comes in and drags Pablo out of class, which Marizza immediately interprets as them being in cahoots together.
Mia and Papa C talk things out and make up. Mia forgives Papa C, but nevertheless says that she’ll never lie to her kids. Papa C’s like, “Whatever, when they’re five years old and ask you if Santa is real, you’re gonna break that rule real fast.” He gives her a big speech about how he made mistakes because he wanted to keep her safe and how much he loves her and it’s genuinely quite sweet. Much crying ensues.
Papa B takes Pablo to the office, where Etchamendi is waiting. They announce that Etchamendi is going to be the new interim principal. They’re also forming a committee to be a buffer between the admin and the little people — Carmen has agreed to represent the teachers (presumably because she’s the only teacher left and she’s just representing herself), and they want Pablo to be the student representative.
After class, Marizza rants to everyone that Pablo is a traitor and can’t be trusted. Tomás — God bless him — protests that Pablo refused to help Papa B get rid of Dunoff, and Marizza’s like, “Stop ruining my anger with facts.”
Michi overhears Etchamendi saying that they’re going to expel Feli over her pregnancy, and there’s some slapstick with her pouring coffee on his crotch. It’s amusing, I guess.
Lujan shows Marcos the letter from Blas. She’s like, “It’s pretty crazy how he loved me and yet abused me at every turn, right?” I…sure, that’s one word for it, Lujan. Marcos invites Lujan to celebrate finally getting closure on Blas, but Lujan says that she’s planning to go see Sara. “Sara and…that guy,” Marcos mutters. Lujan thanks Marcos for being there for her and leaves. Marcos cries and dramatically takes a photo of Lujan out of his wallet and looks at it. I don’t know why. You literally just saw her, dude.
Papa C brings Mia back to school, and while he’s there, he thanks Marizza for fixing his life for him. Of course she did. He tells her that when they first met, he was grateful he didn’t have a daughter like her, but now he’s glad that he’s with Sonia — because he’s proud to be Marizza’s dad. Aw. I could’ve done without him trying to anoint her St. Marizza of Elite Way (cf. Elizabeth Wakefield of Sweet Valley fame), but on the whole, this is quite nice.
Their father-daughter moment is interrupted by some guy looking for Pablo. He introduces himself as Manuel’s best friend and says Pablo invited him. Uh, I just went back and watched the very first episode, and this dude is NOT one of Manuel’s slouchy friends who bids him goodbye. Well, whatever. Manuel is thrilled see his old bestie, although his first concern is still his motorcycle. Man, is no one gonna break it to Manuel that he sold that motorcycle 316 episodes ago? Harsh. Anyway, Manuel’s doctor comes out of like nowhere and gives Manuel a clean bill of health, which means that Manuel can go back to Mexico. Manuel gleefully announces this to the whole lounge and everyone is happy, except Marizza of course.
Meanwhile, Michi hustles Pablo down into the sketchy basement, where he sees Miranda lying in wait for him. That is HILARIOUS. You are a grown-ass adult, Miranda. Why can’t you just meet at a coffee shop?
Leave a Reply